My Why

Why do I run?

Why do I love running?

Why did I start running?

Here is my Why! 

On my 40th Birthday I did my best to look great for my party.  I tried to look confident and happy as I was so grateful that so many people made such an effort to be there.

In honesty I wasn’t!  I hated myself. I hated the way I looked. Every step, move, word was painful because all I felt was a mess.

I was overweight, unfit, un-confident and very  unhappy.  

When I looked back at the photos I felt even worse. God forbid someone had also video’d me dancing and did no more than plaster it all over Facebook. To this day all I feel is shame and embarrassment.  
The only person who could change it was me. Moan all I like no one could help me unless I helped myself. 

I joined Slimming World and started cycling. The weight dropped off with alot of hard work and commitment. 

2 stone 4lbs lighter I was at a weight I had dreamt about but I was still unhappy with how I looked. 

I am also a total stress head, I worry about worrying about worrying!

My work colleague told me running was a great way to let go. He told me when you run everything goes, everything disappears. All you have is you and the run.

‘I can’t run’ I told him. ‘It hurts too much’ I said. Then I got to thinking how can I say these things when  I have never tried? So I donned my trainers and got out there.

I hated every second. I was right, I couldn’t run and it did hurt…. way too much.  NEVER again I told myself. But when I got home I realised that I actually felt a great sense of achievement. 

So that’s where it started. 

Little by little….. bit by bit….. I built up my run time and slowly my speed.  I will never be a time trial hero but I can see my speed improving. I don’t do it for speed I do it because I love it.

Now when I run I get the time I am out there clearing my head. It is like a mental filing session. Everything slots itself into place without me having to work at it. I can run, get home and then realise that I have no idea what I have thought about for the hour I have been out.  Sometimes I even struggle to remember my route!

I love running  because it has changed my life.

It has given me a calm I have never experienced, I has given me more confidence, it is helping to make me look better and feel better, it is giving me back to me.

Running is hard work, every run brings a new challenge, a new experience a new pain! 

But every run I conquer and defeat my demons bit by bit.

 That is why I love running.

That is why I run.

That is why i keep running.

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